Zoloft 

I began taking Zoloft about 18 months ago for depression caused, in part, by chronic pain from a spinal injury. Initially it lessened my need for pain killers and seemed to ease my depression. I was working at a Department store cosmetic counter and absolutely loved my job I had recently been promoted to counter manager and was eager to go to work everyday.

One day I just quit… 18 months later I can barely leave my house. I go from being hyperactive, restless and agitated to being lethargic and wanting to stay in bed all day.

I have a warped perception of my appearance to the point that I feel like a monstrous creature! I call it “a Bad case of the Uglies” or the “Elephant man syndrome” I panic at the thought of someone looking at me or seeing me with my husband and embarrass him….even though he continually assures me that he thinks I am beautiful.

I am constantly shifting from one of the following to another…impulsiveness I rearrange my furniture an average of once a month and have rearranged closets, drawers etc repeatedly. Obsessive …I spend hours in front of the mirror picking at my face trying to clear every pore.

I will bake several dozen cookies of several different types, the most recent obsession was with books. I devoured an average of a book every two days. I not only can barely leave my house but have gotten to the point where I don’t even want to answer my phone and even isolate myself from loved ones.

I go from super high to super low with no conflict or crisis to bring on any depression…THERE IS NOTHING WRONG to cause these symptoms except ZOLOFT… .I am going to my doctor today to see how to get off of it. I have tried to just cold turkey and that makes the manic episodes even worse. I feel like I am trapped in the “Zoloft Zone”

- Rene’e Waltz
 

~ Follow up ~

I did go to the doctor to get off the zoloft and asked my husband to join me for support and not let the doctor talk me into raising the dose but to go off of it completely ..... which is exactly what he wanted to do when I objected he sent me to a psychiatric drug specialist and I ended up taking both effexor and Trileptal in what seemed to me to be Enormous doses!!

I have weaned myself off the effexor and am now off the trileptal. I am a bit fearful but hope and pray for the best!

My story was just a glimpse into my legal drug use and addiction the fact of the matter is that I was abandoned as a child and put up for adoption because my mother had a nervous breakdown I have always lived with that fear and I truly believe that I have been labeled unjustly ... yes I have had a difficult and even brutal life at times but I am not in such a mental state that I am not in control I have ups and downs just like someone who was raised in a "normal" loving environment. After meeting my biological father for the first time at the age of fourteen I went into a "funk" I was told to keep it a secret as he had a court order forbidding him to make contact with any children under the age of eighteen. This was an enormous burden for any teenager to bear my grades went downhill and I became withdrawn from my family moved in with my brother and there had even more stress in my life when I went to the doctor for what I thought was an ulcer they put me in the psych ward and gave me antidepressants. This single event labeled me and brought my worst fear about.

It has taken me years to overcome the sick cycle and the damage that was done to me for TREATMENT! It has been more difficult dealing with the results of treatment than it was for me to deal with the problems I had encountered in life!! anyway .... I could go on and on but I will spare you my goal is to be drug free... nicotine and caffeine included! and begin a healthy life style the majority of my "problems" have stemmed from the treatment and I am just tired of being on this roller coaster. My husband is not really supporting me in this because he seems to like me better complacent and drugged out of my gourd! So I am looking for a new support system and have found your website extremely helpful.

thank you and God bless,

Renee Waltz

 

Last Updated on 10/19/03   webmaster@namiscc.org