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| The Naked Bird Watcher Suzy Johnston has written an outstanding account of her experiences and recovery.
For more information, and to get a copy please see Suzy's website, The Cairn.
The Naked Bird Watcher By Suzy Johnston, ISBN 0954809203 Review by Doug Huskey, NAMI SCC
Too often writers approach mental illness from the outside, this is one of the rare books which puts you in the shoes of the person experiencing mental difficulties (or illness). Suzy literally takes you along in the terrifying descent into the dark, murky world of mental illness in which she found herself, unaware and unprepared for what was happening to her. With vivid descriptions, you join her as she realizes “that something, somehow was horribly wrong.” You are there as she suffers in the apathy and dullness her life is becoming, too paralyzed to care. In what otherwise would be a typical collegiate experience: meeting new friends, partying late into the night, competing with the Hockey Club, learning guitar and joining a local band…. Suzy faced the added confusion of dealing with an insidious illness which was slowly turning her life inside out, yet elusively escaped being pinned down and understood. Suzy writes of experiences with doctors unsure or unable to give her a diagnosis, and of institutions and hospital experiences. You experience the fear of her first hospitalization, yet you also experience the first steps on the road to her recovery. Overall, the care she received was excellent and really established the fundamental steps for her on-going recovery and provided her with the tools to cope and manage the symptoms of her illness. She learned how to recognize the signs that she needs help, and how to get it. This positive aspect of both her treatment, and perhaps more importantly, her subsequent embodiment of it in creating her own steps for recovery, is one of the true strengths of the book, setting it apart. There is a model for success here, which many can learn from, yet there are still constructive suggestions which come from her own experience. For instance, Suzy writes about the hospital release process she faced. In her stay at the hospital, waiting to be released, she had to face a review board of doctors, therapists, CPN’s, and other professionals. Stressful for anyone, you can only imagine how hard that would be when your self-confidence has been shot: “The first time I walked into a review I had no idea what to expect and I was horrified to see so many people in one room. Immediately my coping mechanism sprung into action and I clammed up, staring at the floor to avoid inquisitive eyes. I mumbled answers to my psychiatrist Dr. Blake’s questions and was desperate to be out of there and back to the safety of my bed as quickly as possible.” “Why couldn’t my doctor represent me in the review?” Suzy asks with the shining clarity that only one who has gone through the experience might have. Suzy writes in an easy style with good humor and an incredible ability to both convey her innermost feelings in these experiences and an impartial view of what happened to her. For instance, in one situation she writes of the experience of getting her meds in the hospital with an added twist: It was around 10:30pm and the “drug trolley” from which we received our night time medication was due. Emma and Valerie were amongst the nurses on duty that night and it was the two of them that appeared outside the smoke room with the trolley. Getting night time meds is a personal thing; some people like to queue whilst others prefer to wait until their name is called. I was a “queue-er” and patiently stood in line until it was my turn. Valerie handed me a small, plastic cup with my pills inside and another one filled with water. I gave my pills a cursory look and was about to take them when I suddenly stopped. I took a closer look at my pills and, yes, there amongst the usual antipsychotic and mood stabilisers was a large purple pill that I had never seen before. “What’s this?” I asked poking the purple pill. “Come on Suzy, just take your meds,” said Emma looking serious. “No way, not until you tell me what this pill’s for. It’s huge!” “Suzy, take your pills! There’s people waiting,” chipped in Valerie. “Tell me what it’s for.” Emma folder her arms. “If you don’t take your pills we’ll have to write you up as refusing to take them and you don’t want that do you?” “Just tell me what it is.” Emma leaned over and whispered conspiratorially in my ear, “It’s a jellybean. Blackcurrant I believe.” And starting chuckling. “You swine. The pair of you!” I laughed and promptly ate the chewy and tasty sweet. By this point everyone in the drug queue was laughing and we all felt like regular people enjoying a good joke than psychiatric patients and nurses. For a few moments we forgot our problems and just laughed; it was a liberating experience and a brief respite from our inner torments. In her book, Suzy writes strongly of the need to avoid stigmatization of mental illness, and to have respect for those who carry this added burden in their lives. She writes: Mental illness can strike anyone and statistics show that it does. My mum has met people who have said to her “But Suzy’s intelligent and has a Degree, how can she have mental health problems?” Psychiatric disorders couldn’t care less about how smart someone is or for that matter how much money they have or what colour of socks they wear or a million other reasons. All that I did wrong was lose the battle of percentages and develop manic depression. But does that mean that my life is over or somehow worth less than others? I don’t think so. And I’m not particularly special, I have met lots of wonderful, caring, intelligent people that cope with crippling mental health problems on a daily basis. These people should be applauded and not talked about in hushed, embarrassed tones. The book is an easy read and one you will not forget. It will give you a new degree of compassion, respect and understanding of a diabolical illness and renewed insight into the experience of those brave souls who deal with and chart out their recovery on a daily basis. Suzy describes the experience when she states Depression for me is like walking down a road blindfolded and falling into potholes. You don’t know how deep the potholes are or how long it will take you to climb out. The difference for me now is that I know when I fall into a pothole there will be people on hand to help lift me out. Of course, as you keep walking down the road you may encounter more and more potholes and although I haven’t got my climbing out technique perfect yet, I’m working on it. In that way, Suzy’s honest and moving account of her struggles and progress serves as an inspiration to the rest of us and will undoubtedly help many who suffer the devastating symptoms of mental illness as well as those who love and help them when they need to climb out of those potholes. More info: See Suzy's website: The Cairn Last Updated on 01/18/05 webmaster@namiscc.org |
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