I Need Help Fighting

      I've been fighting with my insurance company for about 10 months finding them using all there rescources to use every dirty tactic in the book. I've got the DMHC involved, I've just lost a big Utilization Appeals of the "Committee" on a Telephonic Appeals case where I was allowed, in a somewhat fixed jury of due process to plead my case into a phone set on speakerphone to by recorder, recording the entire meeting which was meant to deal with a broad spectrum of both Greivances posed by me against their WellPoint Behavioral Mental Health Program asking all of Blue Cross to investigate the "Gestapo" type tactics that WellPoint Behavioral seemed to be adopting without supervision from the "Mother company of Blue Cross."
       I know the above sounds naive and not a good plan of attack against a huge HMO. 'well, I'm a truth based person, Mentally Ill, seeing the HMO breaking the Parity Law at will, pushing me around like I was homeless but I am not but somewhat hindered slightly by my mental illness willing to abandon me, let me die trying and let me die from the emornmous pain of stress and pressure from every direction I look; including my own shrink who is a for profit entity.
       Living in Santa Cruz is both a wonderful thing and also a pit because I'm not a loser, but I've lost myself! I'm not homeless, but I'm doing nothing to keep it, protect it or even fight for it, because I don't care. I don't feel sorry for myself because I don't care and if I did, I would and do hate myself. There is so much wrong with my country and I'm just one more piece of it and for that I apologize,
       But I've got this HMO by the short hairs! I've got the Diagnoses, I'm on SSD and Medicare, making them actually the secondary payer and they are still crushing me, they are still breaking the Parity Law because they know I'm full of fight, I'm willing to go to the California Supreme Court, not just for me but for all of us. I'll expose everything about me to nail Blue Cross for what they are, but I need treatment and support before continuing on to round 2 - Binding Arbitration.
       I need to hear from the DMHC about a IMR and look into the possiblity of this Arbitration thing without losing my insurance because I am severely physically ill as well. GOT ANY IDEAS OR WAYS TO HELP OR CAN I HELP YOU?
             MY NAME IS DIANNE, LET ME KNOW.