Recovery: The Mentally Ill Refuse to Let Go of Their Dreams, 
for They Possess Nothing Else!  

by Tom Barresi

I have always preferred the company of fellow mental patients for any number of reasons: never displaying such social rudeness as patronization, or rejection, people of my ilk just seem to exude camaraderie that is lacking elsewhere. 

One such meeting spot was located in Kings County, California, in the farming town of Hanford. Hidden alongside a walnut grove near the main street of the city, was located our very own, Mental Health Day Center. It was here, between taking my shots at pool, and sipping my Coke, that I met Steve. Hunched over a filthy coffee can, (which was full of cigarette butts), Steve was smoking violently. Introducing myself as Tom, he seemed as impressed with me, as just about everyone else I ever met in the clinic. He told me he was a Schizophrenic, and asked me if I knew that computers were actually invented over a hundred years ago? Realizing at this point most people would make any excuse to be somewhere else, rather than listen to this drivel, I , decided to encourage Steve to continue; and thereby at the very least, learn something about him, and his difficult illness. 

"Yup," he said, "they were made in France around the turn of the century, and were constructed out of big wooden boxes." 

Actually wanting to know more, I asked if they were at all efficient? 

"Better than anything we have today," he fired, "in fact, they were so good they couldn't get qualified people to operate them." 

Steve then went on to tell me he was a great computer repair man but longed to work in electronics. He confessed his learning came from magazines, and that he could build or fix anything mechanical or electrical. He admitted that one day he hopes to get a job in town, but he'll have to wait till he finds a less "well known", (stigmatized) place to live; as he suspects a "bunch of unrest" toward the mentally ill right now, at his desired job-site. 

I wanted to comfort Steve, and tell him that I was a top-notched English teacher once, but lately our state found it more prudent to hire teachers from Mexico and Brazil; because, like you say, Steve, there just might be a bunch of unrest toward the mentally ill right now, in government and state positions. 

It is my opinion, as a mentally ill individual, that "Recovery" can be achieved when medical (psychiatric care), and emotional stabilities, (accepting environment), converge at a precise definition of a meaningful, and totally obtainable goal; which we all should set-up for ourselves, when we are ready! 

"You are not considered a failure, until you admit to yourself that you are"....Tom Barresi 

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Copyright 2005 National Alliance for the Mentally Ill Santa Cruz County, All Rights Reserved.

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